“Where are you,” Kelly hastily inquires after I casually answer my cell phone trying to play cool and not to burst with anticipation,
“I’m just coming past the South Loop exit... I’ll be there in less 10 minutes.”
Okay ... by ‘there’ I thought I meant the Doctor’s Office behind Kennestone Hospital. What I found (and that Kelly found first by arriving before me), was an homage to world travel, an eccentric collection of vintage furniture, sports and other framed memorabilia not to mention a Who’s Who of a celebrity-autographed photo gallery that would rival any Sunset Blvd diner. Wow. This was not an OBGYN’s office. This was Sotheby's... in nurse’s scrubs.
Getting checked-in was accomplished in the 3 minutes I had not yet been there by my lightning-fast wife and the hot mommy-to-be. Then we entertain ourselves with the list of questions we had drawn up over the past few weeks. Including...
“Can mommy have soy milk?”
I am pretty sure I was going to get a professional’s opinion on that last one.
Anyhoo, after 2 other Kelly’s are called by the nurses - inciting joint chest palpitations each time - we finally get the “Kelly Skelly?” from the nurse abridging the doorway to the examining areas. With a uniformity and near military precision, we pop to our feet and scurry ... yes I said ‘scurry’ ... over to where we were called.
I see this as an opportunity to clue all readers in that in my 30 years, I don’t believe I have ever ‘scurried’ - Sauntered? Yes, Moseyed? Sure. Scampered? Not since I was 6-years-old. This was my first time scurrying.
Moving on ...
Meandering down these presidentially adorned hallways with the sorts of artifacts and memorabilia I was threatened never to touch as guest in other people’s homes growing up, we arrive to the this cozy examining room that felt more like Aunt Pat’s upstair’s guest room ...except this one had a sonography machine the size of a decent-sized cat condo in the corner. Turning to put down the coats and the documentation we’ve accumulated to this point, I realized that we’ll have the company of Clint Eastwood, Mel Gibson & Harrison Ford all in their framed and autographed majesty - staring at us as we learn the greatest news we’ll ever receive.
This was it, we were going
to find out that we were really pregnant... not partially pregnant ...not just 10 weeks of indigestion-and-discomfort-for-nothing but really pregnant.
Per nurses instructions, Kelly, as modestly as possible, dons her new paper-ish drapery, takes the ‘implement’ connected to the sonography machine thing ... abracadabra ... there’s an image on the screen. AMAZING.
The nurse makes a few adjustments to the lighting & shading and voila! We now have a clear picture of our gorgeous, adorable, mono-chromatic 2-inch-long bundle of joy ...that Kelly later determined, looks like a Gummy Bear. The nurse then proceeds to do something that I would be slapped for even attempting. She takes the heel of her hand to push & jiggle my wife's mid-section to 'wake-up' the little Gummy Junior. As a result, our little Gummy Junior begins sprinting in place and shadow-boxing. This was wicked cool to say the least.
She looks up at me with a glistening fore-head and loving smile. In addition to warm fuzziness, there was a wave of “Holy cow, this is as real as it gets...” that came over me. While the nurse is making the adjustments to the ...um... device that is providing these images to
“How much should mommy lift?”
“Is it true mommy only needs 300 extra calories a day?”
“Should mommy buy daddy a Toyota Tacoma SR5 Pre-Runner Crew-Cab?”
I am pretty sure I was going to get a professional’s opinion on that last one.
Anyhoo, after 2 other Kelly’s are called by the nurses - inciting joint chest palpitations each time - we finally get the “Kelly Skelly?” from the nurse abridging the doorway to the examining areas. With a uniformity and near military precision, we pop to our feet and scurry ... yes I said ‘scurry’ ... over to where we were called.
I see this as an opportunity to clue all readers in that in my 30 years, I don’t believe I have ever ‘scurried’ - Sauntered? Yes, Moseyed? Sure. Scampered? Not since I was 6-years-old. This was my first time scurrying.
Moving on ...
Meandering down these presidentially adorned hallways with the sorts of artifacts and memorabilia I was threatened never to touch as guest in other people’s homes growing up, we arrive to the this cozy examining room that felt more like Aunt Pat’s upstair’s guest room ...except this one had a sonography machine the size of a decent-sized cat condo in the corner. Turning to put down the coats and the documentation we’ve accumulated to this point, I realized that we’ll have the company of Clint Eastwood, Mel Gibson & Harrison Ford all in their framed and autographed majesty - staring at us as we learn the greatest news we’ll ever receive.
This was it, we were going
to find out that we were really pregnant... not partially pregnant ...not just 10 weeks of indigestion-and-discomfort-for-nothing but really pregnant.Per nurses instructions, Kelly, as modestly as possible, dons her new paper-ish drapery, takes the ‘implement’ connected to the sonography machine thing ... abracadabra ... there’s an image on the screen. AMAZING.
The nurse makes a few adjustments to the lighting & shading and voila! We now have a clear picture of our gorgeous, adorable, mono-chromatic 2-inch-long bundle of joy ...that Kelly later determined, looks like a Gummy Bear. The nurse then proceeds to do something that I would be slapped for even attempting. She takes the heel of her hand to push & jiggle my wife's mid-section to 'wake-up' the little Gummy Junior. As a result, our little Gummy Junior begins sprinting in place and shadow-boxing. This was wicked cool to say the least.
"Pow, p-pow, pow, p-pow!" ... that of course, is the heartbeat.164 beats-per-minute. Whoa! Okay yeah, I'm totally a dad. Totally awesome warm fuzziness begins taking control of my body.
This is amazing. This was the coolest thing on a TV screen since watching New England get shut-out of a playoff spot. I’m holding my gorgeous wife’s hand and seeing her beaming ...as much as one can beam given her vulnerable, and I can only imagine, uncomfy position.
She looks up at me with a glistening fore-head and loving smile. In addition to warm fuzziness, there was a wave of “Holy cow, this is as real as it gets...” that came over me. While the nurse is making the adjustments to the ...um... device that is providing these images to
the screen, she’s also clicking the ‘print’ button about half-a-dozen times to produce a photo-booth strip of images of our gorgeous little gummy bear.
So, yes. We are very pregnant and very excited... especially to have shared this moment of discovery with Dirty Harry, William Wallace and Indiana Jones. Afterwards, we met with one the mid-wives in the practice. We answered a good number of questions. We got our questions answered. We drove home, feeling just a little warmer and more giddy than we might otherwise have been on a January Monday afternoon.
So, yes. We are very pregnant and very excited... especially to have shared this moment of discovery with Dirty Harry, William Wallace and Indiana Jones. Afterwards, we met with one the mid-wives in the practice. We answered a good number of questions. We got our questions answered. We drove home, feeling just a little warmer and more giddy than we might otherwise have been on a January Monday afternoon.
You should write children's books...
ReplyDeleteKevin, I loved reading this. I told Kelly that if you guys have a little boy, I'm convinced he will be like the kid (Russel I think was his name) on UP. That's all I kept thinking when I watch that movie. So, yes, I think the Tacoma is inline for wilderness exploring!! You're going to be a great dad!!
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